Hearts & Crafts

I want to tell Carly that this poem is for her. Hey Carly! This poem's for you! Thank you for the craft supplies!

I want to wear a suit of bubble wrap, so if I get hit by a car, I'll still be badly hurt, but I'll have something to do while I wait for the ambulance.

I want to smear my chest in glitter, so I can run out of the woods, flailing and shrieking that I was shit on by a unicorn.

I want me and my art to be stuck together like two bits of wood acting as the bread of a PVA sandwich. I want to treat my art like a lover. Play back and forth, always offering, never asking, knowing when to fuck and when to make love.

I want my poetry to read like footsteps on a path of drying cement, so everybody can know where I've been, and where I am, and when they reach me, I can tell them where I'm going.

I want to shut my brain down for 24 hours, so that just for one day, I can craft with my heart, and heart alone. So that just for one day, I can appreciate that everything I create; every poem, song, and painting is a love letter to art itself; so that just for one day, I can live without the critical eye that looks at my own creations and says "Well that's no fucking good."

I want to know what the poets know. I want to get closer to Ginsberg, Kerouac, and Burroughs. So I think I'll treat myself to a naked lunch on the road and howl when they come to take me away, ha ha.

I want to spend a year in a strait jacket, so I can learn to write with my feet and say "Yeah, that's right world. 4 pens at once. Try to stop me now, motherfucker."

I want to think up some brilliant new expression; something to lift the chins of folks who are having a hard time with life at any given moment. Something like "If you don't trudge through the sewers, how else are you going to meet the Ninja Turtles?"

I want to treat each step like it's helping the world rotate. I want to snap so loud that I can't type when I get home. I want to care less about money and treat each purchase like it's only ten dollars (Only TEN dollars?!). I want to laugh so hard that I ejaculate confetti.

I want to deliver quiet lines during big laughs, so the audience has to buy a book to know what I said.

I want to quote The Simpsons like it's still 1998 and relevant. I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live!

I want to get five zeroes at a slam, because it seems more difficult to achieve than five tens.

I want a world where the righteous aren't so damn righteous about it. I want a world where everything goes up to eleven. I want a world where you get strange looks for NOT singing alone in public. I want a world where I can say Snooki, and everybody else will say "who?" I want a world where everything's coming up Milhouse. I want a world where everybody has a sex tape so we can all calm the fuck down about it.

I want to leave an audience in constant suspense. I want my audience to always be unsure of what I'll say next.

I want to...